To the chairperson: The meeting runs from 7:30 to 9:00 pm. At about 8:50 ask for burning desires and start wrapping it up.

"Hi everybody. My name is ___ and I am a recovering ___ (adult child, codependent, etc.). This is an Adult Children of Alcoholics and other Dysfunctional Families meeting. Let's open the meeting with a moment of silence followed by the Serenity Prayer.

THE SERENITY PRAYER

"Adult Children of Alcoholics and other Dysfunctional Families is a fellowship of men and women with the common bond of having been raised in a dysfunctional environment, usually where addiction was present. We meet to share our experience of growing up in a dysfunctional home — the way it affected us then, the coping strategies we developed to survive living in it and the ways in which these learned patterns, called codependency, affect our lives today.

"By practicing the Twelve Steps and coming to meetings on a regular basis, we find freedom from the bondage of old scripts. In ACoA/DF meetings we find the safety and love to experience what we never allowed ourselves to feel or express before. We trust the people in the meetings to respect our feelings and treat what we say as confidential. The only requirement for membership is that one identifies with 'The Problem.' ACoA/DF is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity or institution; does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause.

"In this meeting we want to feel safe to share what is in our minds and hearts, so in our discussion groups we ask that you do not crosstalk — which means that we do not interrupt or make comments about other people's statements. We do this for two reasons; FIRST: When we were growing up no one listened to us; they told us our feelings were wrong. SECOND: As adult children we are accustomed to taking care of other people and not taking responsibility for our own lives. In this meeting we speak about our own experience and feelings. We accept without comment what others say because it is true for them. We work toward taking responsibility for our own lives, rather than giving advice to others.

Ask someone to give a definition of anonymity.

FOR NEWCOMERS (IF PRESENT)

"I'd like to welcome any newcomers and visitors and ask you to tell us your first names again. (Lead applause for each.) Once you have made it through these doors you do not have to feel as if you are the only one who has had the experiences, feelings, pain, depression, fear, and other problems. We welcome you and invite you to keep coming back. Any newcomer who can handle what comes up at six meetings without retreating into denial has begun an irreversible process of recovery. Everything in that person's life can become a part of the recovery process despite how chaotic it may look or feel.

"We encourage you to express these feelings as you go through the recovery process. Sometimes we find these meetings disturbing as we get in touch with emotions we have denied ourselves until now. We may feel fear, or anger, or unexpressed love or any other human emotion. Sometimes we feel we belong, and at other times we feel alone and afraid. When we cry even tears from unknown sources are fully accepted here. Sometimes we laugh when we hear stories that parallel our own lives, knowing at last that we are not alone.

Have someone read the Twelve Steps.

Have someone read "Co-dependency - A Definition"

"Do we have any announcements?"

"A business meeting for this group is held on the first Tuesday of the month at 7:15 p.m. Anyone who considers this their home ACoA/DF group is urged to participate."

"We have a large selection of books for sale, free literature and an audiotape lending library."

"Let's go around the room and introduce ourselves by first names only."

"Would somebody like to read from tonight's meditation?" (from The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie)

Ask someone to read The Laundry List. (Optional. Sometimes too much reading hurts the flow of a meeting.)

SHARING & DISCUSSION. . . (until about 8:50pm)

"No topics are off limits. The only guideline is that each speaker keep the focus on him/herself."

7TH TRADITION

"Our Seventh Tradition states that every ACA Family Group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. We have no dues or fees but we do have expenses such as rent. We are passing a hat. It is customary for newcomers not to contribute if this is their first meeting.

THE CLOSING

"In closing, I would like to say that the opinions expressed here were strictly those of the people who gave them. Take what you like and leave the rest. Anonymity is the cornerstone of our groups. The things you heard were spoken in confidence and must be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room and the confines of your mind.

"I put my hands in yours and together we can do what I could never do alone. I no longer feel a sense of hopelessness. I no longer depend upon my unsteady willpower. I reach out my hands for power and strength greater than my own, and as we join hands, I find love and understanding beyond my wildest dreams. Welcome home and keep coming back.

"We close our meetings with the Lord's Prayer