Laura Silverman
September 8, 2020

It was the summer of 2007.

Lost, The Office, and Gossip Girl graced the cathode rays of television sets. You likely had an iPod (where Daughtry and P!nk were spitting out hit after hit), a digital camera, and a flip phone -- or a QWERTY keyboard Blackberry if you were so lucky. The web was very 1.0 and I was two years post-college graduation.

I was also two hospitalizations in for alcohol poisoning by that time. After the first one, I swore off the sauce. Forever. But slowly, I got used to the idea that maybe, just maybe, I could tame my drinking. I thought I could have only liquor. Or wine. Or beer. Or [insert literally anything]. Before I knew it, I was back to my old tricks when hospitalization #2 swooped in. It was the morning of July 14th, 2007 when I groggily found myself in a New York City hospital after the previous night’s dangerous blackout debauchery. Something about that one changed me. It shook me to my core. And I made a resolution to never drink again.

Of course, I made that resolution hundreds of times before. This time it stuck. I called my health insurance’s substance abuse and mental health hotline and scored a meeting with a substance abuse counselor the next day (“substance use disorder” hadn’t reached our vernacular yet). After some pretty standard denial, I made the decision to join an intensive outpatient program (IOP) for five weeks where I could a) still go to work, and b) actually afford the treatment. Coupled with 15 hours of 12 step meeting attendance, my IOP treatment program planted the seeds for me to truly change.

But I’ve often thought, what if the year was 2020 (or maybe 2019? Or 2021? I don’t know about you, but I’m not loving 2020 right now...haha). I could have had so much more at my fingertips. Exposure to so many different voices and beverages and meeting options.

So these are my top 10 tools for getting sober / going alcohol free if I was in early sobriety today.

1. Zero proof beverages...

2007: My options were either water, Diet Coke, club soda and lime, or a Shirley Temple.

2020: Every flavor of kombucha and seltzer, non alcoholic (NA) wine and beer*, hoppy teas, shrubs, fruit tonics, zero proof spirits, finely crafted zero proof beverages at bars and restaurants, and so much more. The first step to healthy and sustainable sobriety is not drinking alcohol, and that becomes so much easier when there are options to choose from. No one wants FOMO. This way, you’ll have JOMO (joy of missing out!) with the added benefit of no hangovers. Check out Zero Proof Nation (I’m co-founder!) and For All Drinks for more zero proof inspo.

*Granted, in my first month of sobriety I might not have wanted to touch those but some people don’t have a history of substance use disorder; they just want to go alcohol-free. For those people, why not have NA beer or wine right away? It’s about the flavor and the ritual -- not the booze.

2. …and booze-free spaces

2007: The only guaranteed booze-free social spaces I can think of were in church basements.

2020: Sans Bar in Austin, TX; Listen Bar and Getaway Bar in New York City; Club Soda in the UK. These are spots that - up until the pandemic hit - you could go for authentic connection and zero proof beverages. No alcohol served. Period. Now, with most recommended socializing done virtually, there are no borders to having a zero proof happy hour (choose a beverage from #1) with new friends from around the world.

3. Instagram

2007: Instagram (IG) was still three years away from being created, let alone used as a tool for connecting with others in the sober community.

2020: Search hashtags (e.g. #soberAF, #zero proof cocktails, #recovery, #mental health) and instantly find accounts that resonate. Start your own IG to stay accountable and document your sobriety, if that’s your thing. Find a community not bound by a particular program and create what you need. From BIPOC womxn blazing the way (@soberbrowngirls and @soberblackgirlsclub) to queer and trans representation (@l_nuzzles is a pioneer in the movement) and everything in between, you are sure to find accounts and hashtags that support your own journey.

4. She Recovers

2007: She Recovers was still five years away from offering their first IRL retreat.

2020: The community started by mother/daughter team Dawn Nickel and Taryn Strong is like Taryn’s last namesake. The SR Facebook page has over 270K likes, the active Facebook group is close to 6,000 womxn strong, there are She Recovers coaching programs so that you can either find a woman you identify with to guide you in early sobriety or you can take the training to become a coach yourself. There are global retreats and conferences and virtual events. She Recovers celebrates a patchwork recovery, which means it doesn’t judge the pieces you assemble yourself to create your own quilt of tools that work for YOU. I absolutely love She Recovers and have since I joined the online world in 2015 when I started The Sobriety Collective.

5. Soberlink

2007: I can just see it now, a scene from my bare-bones IOP: going around in a Ring Around the Rosie meets Musical Chairs circle, waiting our turn to blow into a plastic breathalyzer in front of everyone. Fortunately, I always blew 0.0 BAC. After I completed 5 weeks of this merry-go-round, my aftercare plan was all my counselor knew to recommend: keep going to 12 step meetings. I wanted more.

2020: For a relatively low cost, I could have a Soberlink device (or fancy breathalyzer, as I call it) that would eliminate the need to dance around in front of everyone. In other words, I could (in theory) not only blow into my device in my SUD counselor’s office during my IOP, but could continue to use it in my aftercare plan, in tandem with seeing a therapist, doing She Recovers meetings, connecting with new IG friends, drinking zero proof bevs, and more. I could create my own recovery menu. It could include 12 steps (or not) but it would be my choice.

6. Tempest or Monument (or other online recovery programs)

2007: online recovery programs? Nice try. The only program people widely knew about was 12-step in nature and the Internet, as mentioned many times already, was #basic.

2020: For those that are in the gray area and/or know they have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol but feel stuck and unsure of how to stop, online recovery and counseling programs like HIPAA-compliant Tempest and Monument are great starting points. Tempest, a revolutionary way to get off the sauce started by Holly Whitaker of Hip Sobriety, and Monument, a relatively new online program with personalized treatment and group support, offer virtual platforms to quit drinking and are perfect for the digital age we find ourselves in with COVID-19 still a very real threat.

That said, some people physically need a detox facility. Those people should absolutely seek medical detox because unsupervised alcohol withdrawal can be deadly. Other people need residential treatment so that they can be removed from their triggers while they learn new habits and get round-the-clock counseling and care. Those people should absolutely seek that kind of treatment. No questions asked, no judgment. Most facilities worth their salt are taking the pandemic very seriously and have safety precautions galore. Search on SAMHSA’s treatment center locator and call around.

7. Talkspace and other mental health apps/sites

2007: Due to cost and overall availability, I was limited to therapists in my health insurance network. Lots of shopping around to find the right fit and it took me years, honestly, to find someone with whom I connected.

2020: Telehealth is the name of the game and especially now with COVID, it’s forcing every mental health practitioner across the country (and world) to go, if not fully, then partially digital. Talkspace is a HIPAA-compliant website and app that is transforming the digital mental health game, allowing you to access a therapist at your fingertips. The company has expanded to tele-psychiatry, digital employee assistance programs, and partnered with insurance panels so that therapy can remain affordable and accessible. There is ZERO shame in seeking support for your mental health; you don’t have to be in crisis mode to benefit from a professional’s assistance. Now that Talkspace takes my insurance, I’m going to do a little browsing myself. If there’s anything I still do ODAAT (one day at a time), it’s my mental health.

Bonus: check out my Get Help section on The Sobriety Collective for resources on getting/staying sober and mental health support. I’m a huge fan of Mental Health America and NAMI. Check them out.

8. 305 Fitness, Daybreaker, and other digital fitness communities

2007: Online fitness just wasn’t a thing. YouTube was only starting to gain traction as a video sharing website when Google acquired the site in the mid aughts.

2020: Want to dance in the morning with hundreds of other people (Daybreaker)? Check. Bust a move with body-positive instructors yelling affirmations from their apartments -- or empty studios (305 Fitness)? Check. Learn the steps to Hamilton or Disney princess (or villain!)-themed workouts (KyraPro)? Check. You can do all of this and more via YouTube, often at low to no cost, especially during COVID. Fitness is one my top recovery tools because it creates a positive feedback loop. When I sweat and get the endorphins pumping, my mental health almost instantly improves. When my mental health is stable and taken care of, I’m more likely to want to move my body. It’s a loop that I’m happy to feed every. single. day.

9. Alcohol-free / recovery coaching programs and groups

2007: I’m starting to sound like a broken record but 2007 just wasn’t the year for this. It’s kind of a miracle that I not only stopped drinking, but I stayed stopped.

2020: Let’s say you don’t need a whole program, per se, but want the accountability from a sober/recovery/alcohol-free coach. Well, my dear -- it’s your lucky day. There are coaches to support you on your non-drinking journey if you’re a more of a grey area drinker (check out Jolene Park’s Grey Area Drinkers, Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind, Kari Schwear of Gray Tonic ); those who have mental health and substance use recovery expertise and can help you get/stay sober (She Recovers coaches and Paul Silva Coaching are great places to start); and those that are just into an alcohol-free lifestyle who can support you in building the kind of booze-free practices that fit your life (e.g. Karolina of Euphoric AF, Heather of Ditched the Drink, Africa Brooke, Amanda of Authentically Amanda, Shari Hampton of Served Up Sober, and more). There are private Facebook groups galore so that you can have access to the most important thing in this journey, IMHO: community.

10. All the blogs and podcasts!

2007: The only sober/recovery blog I discovered in 2007 was The Fix. Which is saying something.

2020: Behind every blog (web log!) is a unique voice. Find bloggers that you identify with and can give you the tips and tricks you want and need to support your sobriety / alcohol-free journey. Can’t find one? Create the one that *you* need. This is why I launched The Sobriety Collective in 2015. I couldn’t find any voices -- besides Holly Whitaker’s of Hip Sobriety -- that I really resonated with; I needed to create the community I needed for me in order to connect with others that wanted the same. Would you rather listen to someone talk (or interview others) than read blogs? There is literally a podcast for everyone. Mental health, sobriety/recovery (Since Right Now and The Unrufflled Podcast are two of my faves), zero proof beverages, entrepreneurial life, nature, fitness, business, murder mystery lovers, book clubs, foodies, current events. Check out my own resource roundup on my site for some great places to start: Link Love on The Sobriety Collective.

To think I celebrated 13 years of continuous sobriety in July 2020 and just as many years of my own personal recovery evolution is really something else. I got sober with limited resources but with courage, determination, fortitude, and sheer willpower. And it stuck. But to get sober or quit booze in 2020? There are just so many resources and communities and tools at people’s fingertips. Now is the time to start something new; now is the time to be a rebel.

We are in the midst of a beautiful, revolutionary movement. Let’s rise up together.

The author, Laura Silverman, aka founder of The Sobriety Collective, who just celebrated 13 years of continuous sobriety.