Understanding Codependency

Codependency: Statistics

• In one form or another, 90% of the American population shows codependence.
• “High to middle” classification for codependency was met by 76% of women (students) and 85% of men (students) in a college survey.

Codependency: Causes

The causes for codependency are:

• Shame
• Guilt
• Monetizing love
• Unrealistic expectations
• Unpredictability and chaos
• Manipulation
• Neglect: Physical or Emotional
• Overwhelmingly harsh: Criticism or Communications

Codependency: Signs and Symptoms

The Science and symptoms of codependency include the following,

• Mistrust in others and self
• Guilt is raised from the assertion of your own needs
• No healthy boundaries are being established
• Sense of responsibility for someone else's actions: Overdeveloped
• Need for control of; the environment around and other's behavior
• Feeling in the backseat of your own life
• Investing more in a relationship than necessary
• Unrecognized and unappreciated efforts lead to feeling hurt
• Having trouble deciding
• Problems in communicating in a relationship
• Fearing abandonment
• Lowered self-esteem
• Alcohol and drug abuse

Codependency: Recovery

When recovering from codependency, it is a 180° shift in your relationship with yourself. It will take time to recover. Four steps that are included to recover from codependency are:

Abstinence

Your sobriety, also known as abstinence, plays a pillar in building a castle of independence from codependency. It helps bring your focus back to yourself. You will have to control from within rather than be controlled from outside. Every action you take will get motivation from your feelings, needs, and values.

Awareness

Remember denying will never help you recover. Thus, generating awareness in yourself regarding your problem of codependency is necessary. When you start to accept it, you will learn to fight it.

Acceptance

To recover thoroughly, you will have to accept yourself. You should know that with acceptance will come changes gradually. Ideas that were once suppressed with your self-loathing, denial of reality, and self-blame will surface. Once you accept yourself, you will see immense possibilities in front of you.

Action

There is no reaction without action. Only knowing you need awareness and acceptance will not bring it to you. You will have to take strong actions to achieve self-acceptance and awareness for overcoming your codependency. This will need you to do the following:

• Voice your opinions and needs
• Take risks
• Come out of your comfort zone
• Trying new things
• Go out alone
• Set boundaries: External as well as internal
• Attend Co-Dependents Anonymous
• Specialized Codependency Treatment
• Listen to CoDA Speakers

All the above points, when worked together, will bring wonders to your life. You will finally be able to get free of your burdens. Problems like codependency will not bother at all.